Some people have probably wondering whats happened and why i haven't posted. Well first off i've been pretty sick for a while. I dunno why but i've been having alot of problems throat and skin problems and such. The doctor kept giving me stuff and i've had to go back repeatedly. Right now i'm kinda eh.. I mean i'm not sick but i still feel some of the draw backs.

I've been kinda out of mood of sorts. I think i just recently threw out something that was worth alot of money. Also i've been having random bills stack up.. I've been frustrated about alot of things. I've been feeling like a total fuck up recently and i feel like snapping and lashing out. relationship i've been having with some people are also causing a strain on me. Its like i'm regreting my exsistence these days. I can see that this year is going to be a bad one. I wish it would be my last year but that never happens.

I feel: frustrated

Well its been strange recently ive been having emotional problems... Its hard to describe. It's an intense emotion but its not like my depression fits when i was a kid/teen. Its almost like the reverse. It happens when i'm with people either large or small group its really weird. It starts off like a small pit of pressure in my chest. All i feel is emotionally hollow everywhere else. My hands then feel numb and start to shake and my heart seems to be failing in a way... It seems like maybe i don't feel like i belong or my exsistence is wrong. I'm not sure if certain people trigger it. I doubt it and even if it did i wouldn't want to not hang out with them.

Whats even stranger is what cures this feeling. Someone handed me a ball of yarn and i just went nuts and started playing with it. I instantly snaped out of it and now i felt better. Strange i'll have to figure it out more later...

End of the week Wrap up!!

Ahh what an interesting week its been. Instead of me having problems it seemed a lot of my friends have now been going through hard times. The decisions that a person makes seems to effect everyone. All I can do is be there for my friends but it's hard. Their problems seem to reflect on mine more and I realize why I'm alone. Seems the more I help others the more I push people away. By helping them I'm distancing myself from my goals. Is it my destiny to be alone? Whats the point of trust if there is no love? I'm I really okay with how my life is? All I can do is be there and nothing more. I feel like my purpose is only to push others along in life.

"Do I have a worth to myself? Who will help me with my troubles? What is the future I'm waiting for?"

With my problems put into the past and in close watch it seems now I have to watch for others problems...

I can't wait to see what happens next episode: "End of school blues!!!"

- I BITE FOR JUSTICE!!! -

Tags: wrapup
I feel: anxious

Vampire Score: 4 WereWolf Score: 5 Mage Score: 6 Wraith Score: 2 Changeling Score: 6

Take the World of Darkness Quiz
by David J Rust

Funny how it turned out mage or changeling

End of the week Wrap up!!!

It seemed my true flaws showed itself. My weekness and my draw backs. What is the point of having friends or a life when all you do is hurt them. Will I ever earn their trust again? Do I even earn their trust? Whats the point sometimes? All I do is make one step forward and fall two steps back. It hurts to know that I have hurted my friends and betrayed them. I don't think some of them will every forgive me...

"Am I truely that weak?" "Why do I hurt those I care and love?" "Is there and end to it all?"

My weakness is what it is. I must learn what it means to be weak and how to watch for it.

I can't wait to see what happens next episode: "Punishment."

- I BITE FOR JUSTICE!!! -

Tags: wrapup
I feel: depressed

Yah about yesterday... I was kinda a dick and i guess i pissed everyone off. I didn't know i was like that when i'm really drunk. From now on i'm just gonna drink by myself. Its easier that way. (oh yah drink at home by myself).

Thats it for now i have to appologise to some friends.

some how while super drunk i'm able to post. i want sex ii'm suuper drunk nad full of kitteny goo
i waant sex so bad but no one will give me it. i can't even read what my post is this suckx ayways meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeow i can't even type straight. but i kinda understand mew mew emw. i want to have sex with michellle even tho shes jsut af riend i shouldn't be postint right now m3m32 m32 m32 m32. someones cell phone is in my mouth mew mew mew... i'sm so drunk i can't tell who's cell phone it even is i can't even drive home or spell with oue reallly concenttrating. I want sex with people. like yon mewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. i drop the cell phone that was in my mouth i wish more thing was in my mouth like... i duno.... i'm a perv.

If you had a choice would you rather be in a Friends with benifits situation? or a Relationship with draw backs situation.

If your wondering friends with benifits is like sex without the relationship or feelings i guess (fuck buddies). Relationships with draw backs would be the reverse feelings and emotions but no sex/huggy feely stuff.

::WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF::
1. I tried to eat your soul:
2. I bite you:
3. I lived next door to you in a big shoe:
4. I bursted into flames:
5. I asked to date someone else:
6. I blew up a hospital:
7. I moved my home farther away from me:
8. I got into a fight and you WERE there infact your the one i'm fighting:
9. I asked u to have sex with cat ears on:
10. I asked u out while wearing cat ears:

::WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY::
9. Cuteness:
10. Fluffyness:
11. Kitteness:
12. Kitteny goo:

::WOULD YOU::
13. Be my neighbor?
14. Keep a lock of my hair?
15. Hold my foot?
16. Go on a date with me to the moon?
17. Pet me?
18. Try and solve a puzzle I made?
19. Bite me?
20. Destroy me?

::HAVE YOU EVER::
21. Lick me to make me feel better?
22. Wanted to play me magic the gathering?
23. Wanted to resurrect me from the grave?
24. Broke my pencil?
25. Kept something unimportant from me?
26. Wanted to do me... in?

::AND MORE::
27. Whats your shoe size?
28. Are there yet?
29. When and how did you wish we meet?
30. Describe me in zero words:
31. What is your current impression of me?
32. Do what me to change what you think of me?
33. What reminds you of tuna?
34. If you could steal anything from me what would it be?
35. What do you want to know about me?
36. How would you want to see me next time we meet?
37. Ever wanted to kidnap someone with me?
38. Are you gonna never do these surveys again?

End of the week Wrap up!!!

What is the point of a dream. Where is my life taking me? Do I truely seek love? This week I explored many feelings, and discovered what it truely means to love. It seems the world is developing into an interesting place. Many friends change and some stay the same. What is it all that i've truely learned this week? All I know is alittle about myself and more about the one I love. The unobtainable means the wrong path *shrugs*

"Can I love?" "Will I find love?" "Is my path out there?"

All I can hope for is my dreams in life. They seem to be growing farther day by day. All I can do is continue searching for my dreams. :-)

I can't wait to see what happens next episode: "Thanksgiving Special, Turkey forever!!!"

- I BITE FOR JUSTICE!!! -

Tags: wrapup
I feel: ecstatic